Heart of A Wolf
by jesphoenix05
Summary: Kaoru and Tokio converse amicably on the night of their mutual friend Misao's wedding. Kaoru suddenly wonders how did Tokio feel the night the wolf knocked on the Kamiya dojo's door! Oneshot. TokioSaito


**Disclaimer: **I do not own Rurouni Kenshin, Peacemaker and NHK's 'Shinsengumi!'

Historical deviation: I have taken a several liberties with the historical background of Tokio simply because I want to establish the connection between her and Kaoru. I apologize if it seems too off.

The Shinsengumi members are mostly from the NHK drama except for Soji whom I took more from Peacemaker because he's a lot more flamboyant in that series! And I've taken some serious liberties with Akesato. In NHK she's a very cheerful, ditzy yet emotionally perceptive person in Peacemaker she's a ninja so I combined both to make someone different. It's an experiment but we'll see how it works out!

* * *

**The Heart of a Wolf**

* * *

Misao and Aoshi's wedding was turning out to be a memorable event! Tokio smiled as she looked across the room were her husband and his "pack" drank and talked loudly and nostalgically about the old days in both the Shiei Hall in Tokyo learning swordsmanship with Isami Kondo and their days as members of the Shinsengumi. She suppressed a smile of amusement when her husband blushed slightly as his old friend Sano Harada recounted cheerfully the sumo match that her husband - who didn't know anything about sumo - won through sheer force of will!

With the surprise arrival of Akesato – lover and confidant of the late Keisuke Yamanami Vice-commander of the Shinsengumi – Tokio worked hard to make sure all the conversation subjects steered clear of the subject that Akesato was most sensitive to. She knew from her husband that because of what happened to Keisuke she had no love for the Shinsengumi. Not that Tokio blamed her! In her shoes she'd probably feel the same! What she did not know was that Akesato had been a ninja! Especially one who had been in the employ of the Oniwaban: defenders of Edo Castle in the payroll of the Bakufu. She wondered if her husband had known…

But the woman was making an admirable effort to keep her niece's wedding peaceful and cheerful. In honor of the effort Tokio assisted her after all having once been the personal attendant of Princess Teru of Aizu she was an extremely tactful woman and no one noticed her very subtle interventions to keep the subject both neutral and cheerful.

Tokio laughed as her little Soji and little Kenji came running into the party room with Yahiko, Shigure and Eiji only half a step behind them. The little boys laughed mischievously and threw themselves in Aoshi's lap. Aoshi merely raised an eyebrow and a tiny smirk gave away his amusement. He signaled to the older boys that it was alright for them to stay a while. Harada called the teenagers to come and join them for a little bit.

The children begged to see his watch and Aoshi produced it from within the folds of his kimono admonishing them gently to be careful with it. The little boys made themselves comfortable in Aoshi's lap as they examined the little watch. Tokio looked up and giggled as her husband apparently choked on his tea and Kenshin was making some cheerful remark about how nice it was that the little toddlers were getting along so well. Kaoru giggled as well…

It seemed Aoshi had a magical touch when it came to small children because as soon as he begun to stroke their backs she noticed that they were starting to nod off. Misao smiled at him with a blazing look in her eyes and Tokio instantly knew how she felt! She had after all felt the same way when she first met Hajime. She had been drawn to him by the intense look in his eyes. A lone wolf looking for a new pack…

The children were finally carried away by their mothers but they put up quite the fight; both of them unwilling to relinquish their new friend and their new toy! The children struggled against their fatigue and their mothers' gentle ministrations as the two women put them to bed in the room that had been allocated within the Aoiya to the children. They found ten-year old Osono – Harada's youngest child – already in the room with Ayame and Suzume and Tokio's six-year old twins getting ready for bed. Kaoru and Tokio worked together to get all the children tucked in and they laughed as Soji and Kenji refused to sleep away from each other.

"My dear Goro will have a heart attack!" she laughed as she and Kaoru rearranged the two toddlers' futons so that they were next to each other. Kaoru laughed too.

"Kenshin will probably say it's cute!" Kaoru remarked cheerfully as she assisted Tokio in putting her other two children to bed as well. They stayed until the children had finally settled down and fallen asleep then quietly left the room.

"Tokio I hope you don't mind my asking but do you worry often for your husband's safety? Do you often wonder if the next mission would be his last?" Kaoru asked timidly. Tokio smiled she knew that Kaoru's question had more to do with her own worries for Kenshin's safety on the occasions when Kenshin would assist Tokyo police in apprehending the occasional pesky yakuza thug.

"No I don't mind and no I don't worry about him! I know that he'll always return to me safe and sound!" Tokio replied proudly as the two walked down the stairs. She knew that there was no one left in the Meiji Era that could challenge her husband in terms of strength.

"But surely you worried when he opposed Makoto Shishio and the Juppongatana!" she asked surprised to see the relaxed look on Tokio's face. Tokio's smile widened.

"Nope! After all the life and death situations we've survived I knew he would be fine!" she countered casually.

"Wow… I worry all the time about Kenshin…" Kaoru finally admitted.

"Well it's natural that you would…" Tokio began then her smile faltered. She stopped and looked up at the night sky. She leaned against a column.

"You know Kaoru… Goro and I have lived through some of the worst times…the Bakumatsu…the siege of Aizu…the Shinsengumi…the Joshitai… just to name a few," she began softly.

"Were you a member of the Joshitai?" Kaoru asked not without a bit of awe in her voice. Tokio smiled and briefly explained about her service to the princess of Aizu.

"Lots of us girls have carried swords to protect our loved ones too you know," Tokio teased. Kaoru blushed. She had thought of herself as something of a trailblazer but she realized standing next to Tokio that there had been many before her thus the current success of her school. Her smile disappeared again as she looked up at the full moon.

"There were some difficult times…but through it all I knew Goro and I would be all right! Except once…" she began. Kaoru just watched her for a moment and she wondered if she had not been alone in her fear and sorrow the night the "Wolf without mercy" showed up at her doorstep…

* * *

Tokio could say that in the 11th year of the Meiji era her life was peaceful. Despite the often dangerous assignments her husband was sent to he always returned tired and a bit cranky but otherwise unharmed. That and her ability to communicate with spirits let her know whether Goro was in any real danger. The spirits always knew when it was someone's time but Soji Okita – her husband's spirit companion – always kept her appraised of what was happening on the battlefield so she wouldn't worry. All in all she could say that her life was perfect!

"Good Morning Goro!" she greeted happily as her cranky husband muttered his morning greeting under his breath. He wasn't really much of a morning person. She put his tea and breakfast in front of him as he dislodged his noisy happy three-year old twins from the near strangle hold they had on him. He pulled his wife towards him to give her a quick peck in the cheek as he sat down to have his breakfast before he got ready for work.

She ushered the children out of the kitchen to get them dressed and let her husband eat his breakfast in peace. He had finished when she returned and he was already in the process of cleaning up his dishes. The children were playing in the yard so she finished cleaning in the kitchen while her husband went to put on his uniform. She hummed a cheerful tune as she picked up her basket of laundry and went to the well. Goro joined her there a few minutes later as she cheerfully went about her daily routines while the children frolicked and played around her.

"I have a meeting tonight and I think I'm going to be late," he informed her seriously as he finished strapping on his katana. She just smiled and nodded. It was nothing new to her. The police chief leaned heavily on her very capable husband and he was often late for dinner as a result.

"Should I wait and keep dinner warm for you?" she asked as she usually did knowing full well what her soba-loving husband will say.

"I'll stop by a noodle stand to get dinner. Don't wait up for me," he replied seriously and suddenly Tokio was filled with a horrible sense of foreboding. Whenever he was on special assignment he would fend for himself on lunch and sometimes dinner. He preferred it that way because of his addiction to noodles. But her husband rarely stayed out too late. He was always home in time to help her get the children to bed. Her husband's spirit companion materialized next to him. He had an unusually serious look on his ghostly face.

"Tell her!" he demanded angrily. Goro sighed and shot Soji an icy glare…

"We found Battousai…the real Battousai! I'm supposed to go and determine his fighting strength and see if he could be of any use to us with the Shishio situation," he reluctantly explained. Goro wasn't really supposed to tell anyone of his assignments but he always told Tokio were he was and what he was up to so she could protect herself if it was necessary.

Tokio was a discreet and intelligent woman so he never had to fear her blabbing something top secret and it served as a stress relief for him to be able to discuss the day's events with her. On top of that her training in the palace of Aizu sometimes gave him an interesting and more than often helpful view on the cases he was working. However this time her eyes went wide with fear as she took in what her husband told her.

"You're…going to fight him," she repeated softly and he merely nodded. Fear constricted her throat. Battousai…the infamously deadly Battousai was going to fight with her husband; the one man in all of Japan who _could_ kill her husband. She cast a fearful glance towards her children. At that moment she realized why Soji was anxious to make her aware. She knew however that there was nothing she could say to dissuade him.

He had a score to settle with Battousai that went all the back to his days in the Shinsengumi and his honor as a samurai would make him fight that battle to the finish! She looked at Soji and his face was averted his expression serious. He looked into her eyes as she stood up to face him. There was determination and strength but something more. He needed her to support him…to understand that what he needed to do had to be done. He could not walk away from this…

"I have faith that my husband will be able to complete his mission successfully as always," she said finally in her elegant manner. He smiled and in a rare show of affection he pulled his wife towards him and kissed her deeply. Tokio instantly wrapped her arms around his neck and responded to his kiss with fervor. He smiled at her as they finally broke apart. She smiled back as she realized she had to let him go or she really would lose him…

"Don't worry…We've been watching him for a while and from what I see his skills have withered away to almost nothing. I don't think he'll be of any use to us," he offered by way of reassurance. She smiled back trying to put as much confidence and strength into her smile as possible.

"As I said I have faith in my husband," she replied softly then released him. She called the little ones so they could say goodbye to papa who was off to work now. The children enthusiastically replied and smiling Tokio bade her husband farewell. She tried not to look at Soji whose face was still solemn as Hajime turned away and headed out the door. She turned and with grim determination she focused her energy on her chores. She tried to stamp down the fear that this was the last time she would see her husband alive…the last time that she would hear his voice…

'No!' she firmly ordered herself as she watched the children play.

'He _will_ return!' she told herself firmly and poured her mind into the daily mundane tasks of being Mrs. Fujita firmly ordering herself not to think about the fight her husband was heading to….

The day wore on and Tokio stubbornly focused all her energy into her day to day activities. She left the children with Tsune at Shiei Hall later that morning and went off to teach her classes at the women's college in Tokyo. Her students were never aware of her frazzled mind and her grieving heart because that's just the kind of woman she was. Her ability to conceal her true state of mind from most people was one of many reasons Goro admired her and valued her input.

She stopped by the market and picked up some vegetables for dinner. She almost ran into a boy in a light green kimono, dark blue hakama and a shinai tied to his back that was buying tofu. He was looking at the little bucket he was carrying with the newly purchased tofu rather than watching where he was going. Tokio stopped him and she was somewhat impressed with the boy's ability to keep the tofu from toppling over after he nearly tripped over himself.

"Sorry Lady!" the boy called out though he sounded more distracted than apologetic.

"You should be more careful with that! You don't want to ruin your dinner!" Tokio smiled pleasantly at the boy. The boy nodded distractedly.

"Are you alright?" she asked a trifle concerned. She didn't think that the state of the Tofu was what was bothering this boy.

"Huh? Oh yea! I'm ok just got a lot on my mind! Sorry! Gotta run!" he called out as he hurried off to wherever it was he was going.

She watched him go with a slight amount of gratitude towards this unknown child. For the minute or so that they had chatted he had allowed her to get her mind away from her husband's inevitable fight and with that brief mental respite she recharged her strength. She would need every ounce she could muster tonight. Tokio walked on home stopping by Shiei Hall to have tea with Tsune and pick up her children then head on home to make dinner.

Once home again she went straight to her chores. She made dinner while the little ones played in the yard outside the kitchen. The boys ate their dinners with gusto and cheerfully sang and made all kinds of noise as she cleaned up the kitchen. The task of putting stubborn and mischievous toddler twins to bed drove all thoughts from her head for a while. She remained with them until they were asleep and extinguished the lanterns in their room. She closed the door that separated her children's room from hers and as she looked upon her empty futon that was when it hit her.

"This is it…" she whispered to herself. Like a blow in the chest she felt the sudden wave of grief hit her. Her husband had not returned yet. He had found Battousai. Her beloved wolf was going to die tonight! She bit down hard on the sleeve of her Yukata to keep her bitter grief stricken sobs from waking the children. Her entire body shook as her grief poured out in her bitter tears. He wasn't returning! She was the lone wolf now!

Sheer exhaustion finally forced Tokio to stop crying. Her limbs felt too heavy to move but through her immense will she forced herself to stand. Her husband would not leave without saying goodbye and she would be ready for him. She would let him know she was ok so he could rest in peace. She walked towards the well intent on washing her face and preparing her self to look her best for that final encounter.

She was the picture of quiet grace and dignity as she walked back to her room. She carefully brushed out her hair. She pulled out her mirror and applied her nightly regimen of moisturizers. She even went so far as applying a light lip balm and a slight touch of perfume. She nodded in satisfaction at her reflection and put all her things away. She took a deep cleansing breath pulled a book out from a drawer and waited…

* * *

"So you were afraid for your husband's life too," Kaoru whispered the pain and fear of that night easy to hear on the younger woman's voice. Tokio shook her head.

"No…My husband wasn't returning. If he had really found Battousai my husband was going to die…I knew it the instant I learned he had found your husband," Tokio countered calmly.

"I _have_ witnessed what your husband could do in a battle by the damage he left behind…I lived in Kyoto for a brief time when I was young…" she explained her face set in a calm expressionless manner.

At that moment Kaoru finally understood why Kenshin had been so haunted. How many women like Tokio did Kenshin's blade force into early widow-hood? How many children out there are like Yahiko because of Battousai? She had thought she understood when she learned of the tragedy of Tomoe and Enishi but that was only the tip of the iceberg!

Kaoru also realized that she had cried that night because she would lose Kenshin to Battousai. Now that she had a child of her own and a comfortable happy life she understood that Tokio had stood to lose so much more but despite that she chose to believe in her husband and let him do what his heart commanded because if he did not he would never be at peace with himself and the ghosts of the past that haunted _him_. Tokio knew those ghosts would destroy him if he didn't lay them to rest. That night she had tried to stop Kenshin out of the selfish wish to not be left alone. Tokio let her husband go out of selfless love…

* * *

"Oh I see…That's why you didn't come for the rematch," said Kenshin softly as they listened to the women laugh when they realized the boy Tokio had run into was Yahiko out doing Kenshin's chore that day. Hajime shook his head.

"Your body's fast but your brain is slow…that's why you're a moron," he retorted amused. Hajime and Kenshin listened to their wives from the roof of the Aoiya. They had wondered why the two women were taking so long to return to the party. So they had left to investigate.

"Personal fights are against the code of the Shinsengumi," he finished solemnly.

"Oh really?" Kenshin retorted amused.

'Who says wolves are heartless?' Kenshin added to himself amused but he knew now the real reason Saito had not taken him up on the rematch and as far as he was concerned it was a VERY good reason.

"Yes really!" Saito replied annoyed as he stood up and began walking back towards the room where the children slept. He entered through the window and as he watched the little ones sleep his mind had inevitably returned to that night.

'Saito-san…you're a good man!' Kenshin thought to himself as Hajime got up and walked away. He followed smiling cheerfully as the older man grumbled annoyed.

* * *

'Damn you Battousai!' Hajime cursed as he made his way home down a dark empty street. He had accomplished his mission and found the men behind the Kurogasa incident. He dealt with them fairly easily but his fight against Battousai remained unfinished leaving him feeling frustrated. He felt a surge in the spirit world and suddenly he was surrounded by the spirits of his old commanders.

"Saito-kun! What were you doing there tonight?" demanded a rough cold voice. Demon vice-commander Hijikata blocked his path and the stern look in his face let him know he was not happy with Hajime's recent actions.

"Saito-kun I am disappointed…" added the solemn voice of Bureau Chief Kondo.

"By denying his past he dishonors all those who fought with their lives in the war. He is a disgrace! How can I carry the flag of the Shinsengumi in my heart and allow someone like him to continue living the mediocre lie he lives!" Saito retorted angrily.

"Saito-kun personal fights are against the code of the Shinsengumi," the eloquent voice of vice-commander Yamanami pointed out.

"This is not personal!" Saito argued vehemently.

"Are you sure?" said a sad wise voice behind Hajime. He whirled around to face him coming face to face with a spirit he had been searching for much too long without success: Gensaburo Inoue leader of the sixth squad…

"Gen-san! I…" he paused unable suddenly to find the conviction with which he'd argued a minute ago. The old timer had always had a way of seeing through the younger warriors. If anyone could be described as the heart of the Shinsengumi it would have to be him and as Hajime looked at his old tired face he found himself questioning his motives.

"Think hard on what you did tonight!" Yamanami insisted.

"Think hard before you try again," added the solemn voice of Kondo. Gen-san smiled sadly.

"Go home and think on this: If you die who will carry the flag?" Gen-san added softly as one by one they disappeared.

"Don't forget Saito-kun! There are others who look to you for strength! You have a responsibility to them as well!" ordered the rough voice of Hijikata but the stern look on his face changed just before he disappeared.

"Oh and say hello to that very lovely wife of yours for me!" he added in a sly tone and smirked roguishly as he vanished.

'Damn Hijikata! Always the rake!' he thought but smiled as he watched his commander disappear. Okita floated silently next to him as they finally reached the house. By the lack of noise he surmised the children were asleep already. A soft pained muffled sound reached his ears coming from the direction of his room and he moved stealthily towards it.

Tokio was huddled in their room tears obviously streaming down her face her body wracked by violent sobs. Again Hajime found himself doubting his earlier conviction. She finally stopped sobbing and after a minute or so she got up. He hid and watched her quietly admiring how she gracefully made her way to the well in the backyard. She returned and with all the poise of a princess she brushed her hair, fixed her face and even added a little perfume.

"A proper sendoff…" Okita sighed and disappeared too. She was accepting her fate as the lone wolf and preparing to send her husband to the next world in peace by showing him that his wife and children would be alright. Once she was done with her preparations he stepped out of his concealment and headed towards her…

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Tokio did not look up right away as she felt him enter the room.

"Good evening my husband," she greeted elegantly as she always did. She looked up then and the smile she'd been working on disappeared replaced by a look that was a mix between shock and relief. Before her stood the flesh and blood husband she'd said goodbye to this morning not the ghost that she had been expecting! She quickly stood up and hurried towards him. Her hands reaching tentatively towards his bruised face as questions formed in her mind but found no way to leave her paralyzed mouth.

"Lord Okubo stopped the fight…" he began as she noted the blood on his clothes.

"It's not my blood," he answered her next unspoken question. She nodded but was obviously still in shock as she continued to touch his face and run her fingers through his hair as though she still couldn't believe that he was there.

"Let me get you some bandages a-and water!" she stammered and ran out of the room. He watched her hurry out for a second and frowned. This was not typical behavior for Tokio she was a woman who was always in control. He looked around for his sleeping robe and realized it was not where she usually left it out for him.

"We didn't think you would survive…" Okita's disembodied voice explained "we thought you would be one of us tonight" he added solemnly. Hajime sighed he knew of course that Tokio was very attuned to the spirit world and if the spirits thought his time had come she would've known it and acted accordingly. Again he found himself thinking of Gen-san's words and doubting his previous convictions as he thought of what he would leave behind. Tiredly he went to the closet and pulled out his robe then followed her out to the well…

-------------------------------------------------------

"He's alive!" Tokio couldn't help the nervous squeak that escaped her mouth as her shaking hands pulled the bucket of water out of the well. She couldn't understand it! All the currents in the spirit world had indicated that he was going to die! So what happened? She realized she didn't care right now. Her husband had returned alive and that was enough for now.

"Are you hungry?" she asked as she heard him approach and swallowed a gasp as she saw a long thin bruise on the back of her husband's neck as he pulled off his shirt.

'He took a head shot with the blunt side of the sword!' she realized with shock. There were scrapes along his arms especially on his shoulders. She'd already seen the gash on his forehead and that coupled with the other bruises on his face made it seem as if he'd crashed through something hard.

'Like a wall…' she thought as she set to cleaning his wounds. He shook his head in the negative and stopped her ministrations.

"Let me finish washing up first…" he said and without prompting began giving her an account of tonight's events. As Tokio listened the currents in the spirit world shifted. Her husband's match had been stopped tonight and as she tended once again his wounds when they returned to their room she started getting the feeling that if Battousai didn't kill him tonight he wouldn't kill Hajime at all.

"Why didn't you try to stop me?" he finally asked looking her straight in the eye. She smiled sadly.

"Because it was important to you…" she replied simply. Hajime smiled back at her then and pulled her close to him. His Tokio was not a selfish woman. She knew that settling the score with Battousai was important for his peace of mind and she would let him go even if it meant losing him forever. She accepted that he was the wolf of justice and was truly prepared to accept all the consequences that came with it. There was proof irrefutable of that tonight!

"Thank you for understanding," he said softly in her ear as he held her tight.

"I love you…" she returned simply and held on to him just as tightly. Hajime smiled as he finally understood the beauty in those words. Yaso – his 1st wife – had uttered them many times but she had constantly strived to turn him into something he could not be. The life of a merchant or a peddler was something the wolf within him could not tolerate but she had selfishly insisted he bury the flag and forget the past.

As time passed he came to detest those three words! Because of them he was losing everything that was important to him. He was losing everything that he was: his honor, his pride and his sword. Finally it came to a point where she forced him to choose between being the soldier of justice or being her husband but Hajime could not stand to continue losing himself so he walked away.

He had never uttered those words again because he had come to find them meaningless and heartbreaking but tonight Tokio had taught him the real meaning of them:

"I love you too Tokio…" he replied softly she looked up at him with surprise. Of course he'd never said it to her and she had never asked for it either so it came as quite a shock! He smiled again and kissed her deeply holding her tight…

* * *

A little giggle from his little son Soji snapped Hajime out of his reverie. The boy was still asleep but some dream was causing him to laugh in his sleep. The twins did that on occasion too! Another muffled giggle caused Hajime to look up from where he was stroking his little son's hair. Kenshin was covering his mouth obviously stifling more giggles as he watched the two little boys who slept side by side. Hajime rolled his eyes but ignored him turning to look once more at his little son whom by his calculations was the product of that evening.

'Ironic that I got up that day thinking I was going to kill someone but instead I helped make someone!' he thought amused but held back the smirk that was threatening to come out. Kenshin was still watching him after all! He signaled for them to leave and they quietly left the room. They caught up with their wives in the hallway downstairs. They were now chatting cheerfully about something else and Hajime could see Okita's spirit laughing as he hovered around Tokio.

He smiled slightly at her as the women looked up to watch them approach. Kenshin greeted his wife cheerfully and Hajime rolled his eyes again wondering how a dork like Kenshin could be so powerful! Tokio giggled and Hajime was certain she must've guessed what he was thinking. Kenshin and Kaoru soon excused themselves to return to the party. As soon as they were gone Hajime pulled his wife towards him and held her tight. Okita smiled and disappeared joining the other spirits that had gathered around the Aoiya for Aoshi and Misao's wedding.

"I love you…" he said softly. She looked up with surprise as she had that night. She smiled after a moment.

"I love you too my wolf…" she replied softly and held him tight.

So the two wolves stood there looking up at the moon knowing nothing could disturb the happiness and well-being of their pack ever again…

* * *

Well this is my first attempt at writing something about my favorite wolf! I've read so many things about him that I was reluctant to write about him. However the matter of his first wife has always intrigued me so I wanted to add my theory into the mix. Also the thought of what Tokio was thinking the night he fought Kenshin was something I'd speculated on as well. Kenshin and Saito are very opposite and I wanted to show Tokio and Kaoru in a similar light which is why I chose the approach that Tokio knew Hajime was going to die.

Don't kill me fellow Saito fans! This is a mainly RK story and despite that Kenshin took more damage than Saito in their one and only battle Saito was the one who took the head shot! …I blame it on Watsuki-sama!


End file.
